Each week, we share a practical technique to become a more effective storyteller and analyze a video that demonstrates its use in the real-world.
Quote of the week
"Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.” Brené Brown
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Anna, like many leaders, spends a good deal energy perfecting what story to tell. From the days of her early career as a product manager, she’s been good at shining a spotlight on user wins, roadmap progress, and metrics that impress.
But there’s another layer: the stories we resist telling, much like Anna.
The launch that flopped.
The customer feedback that stung.
The feature no one used.
The silence doesn’t go unnoticed. Your team, your stakeholders, your execs — they can sense the shadow story lurking behind the polished update.
Here’s the paradox: naming the shadow story, even briefly, makes your narrative more credible. It shows you’re human, you’re learning, and you trust your audience enough to let them in. That’s what creates connection.
Telling Your Shadow Story: The FLAR Technique
When you communicate, ask yourself: What’s the story I’m leaving in the shadows? Instead of ignoring it, bring a slice of it into the light. When leaders avoid the hard stories, it’s usually because they fear how failure will be perceived.
The FLAR technique allows you to turn a shadow story into a credibility-builder by helping you to reframe failure as part of a sequence —
Failure → Learning → Action → Result (FLAR)
Here’s how it works in practice:
Example 1 — Product Manager to Execs
Failure: We missed adoption targets in Q2.
Learning: That was tough, but the data showed us exactly where onboarding broke.
Action: We simplified the process.
Result: Retention is already improving.
Example 2 — Founder to Investors
Failure: Our prototype bombed with early users.
Learning: It showed us where our workflow assumptions were wrong.
Action: We redesigned the flow.
Result: That fix is what led to the traction we’re seeing now.
👉 The formula works because it doesn’t hide the failure. Instead, it shows progress through the sequence — and makes your audience lean in.
Want to Sharpen Your Storytelling Skills?
Next cohort of Success Through Persuasive Storytelling (rating 4.8/5) with Sri Srikrishna and Bikash Chowdhury starts on October 10, 2025. Registrations open.
Video
Brené Brown — Listening to Shame (TED, 2012)
Why do we avoid telling certain stories? Because of shame. Brown nails it: shame thrives in secrecy and silence — exactly where our untold stories live.
She draws the line between guilt and shame [14:00]: guilt is “I did something bad,” shame is “I am bad.” Leaders often stay silent because they confuse a failed outcome with being a failed leader.
“If you put shame in a Petri dish, it needs three things to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence and judgment.” [19:02] For Product Managers, this means the unspoken flop — the feature nobody used, the churn you don’t mention — grows heavier the longer it’s hidden. Naming it takes away its hold.
Brown reframes vulnerability as the birthplace of innovation and change [05:55]. Owning the shadow story isn’t weakness; it’s what lets teams move forward.
This talk isn’t just about personal shame — it’s a mirror for leadership. The moment you bring a hidden story into the light, you take away its power and build credibility.
Try This Week
Write down one story you’ve been avoiding. Maybe it’s a launch misstep, a hiring mistake, or a personal doubt about direction.
Now, draft two sentences that acknowledge it and reframe it.
Sentence 1 → Name it plainly—the shadow story.
Sentence 2 → Reframe it as learning or next step.
Try sharing it in your next 1:1, team meeting, or even with a trusted peer. Watch how acknowledging it openly shifts the energy in the room.