One of the things we do in our storytelling workshops, right after we introduce a new concept, is watch and discuss a short video that shows the concept being put to use.

In a workshop not that long ago, we watched a video of former IBM CEO, Ginni Rometty sharing career advice at a women’s summit ↗️.  

Josh, the first person I called on to share his thoughts on what he took away from the video, said “I wish I’d seen this video last week. My wife had the same question that Ginni asked. I’d have answered it so much better had I seen this video.” 

Josh’s experience is not uncommon. He found his own experience in Ginni’s story. You’ve probably experienced it yourself. Maybe when you’ve seen someone present at work, or read something, you thought “Wait a second, that’s basically what happened to me/my team/product.” 

That’s What Happened to Us

Josh didn't need to have lived through the same life journey as Ginni or address a group of women leaders. He only needed to recognize something familiar in what had happened. 

There’s an important storytelling lesson in this. When we tell stories at work, we focus on what happened, what it meant and what the audience should take away from it.

But listeners bring their own experiences into the story. A failed launch might remind someone of a reorganization. A difficult customer conversation might remind someone else of a disagreement inside their team. 

The circumstances don't have to match. What people recognize is something underneath them — the doubt, the disappointment, the difficult choice, the feeling of having been there before.

That's what happened with Josh. Ginni's story wasn't his story. But there was enough in it for him to connect it to a conversation he'd just had with his wife.

When you're choosing a story for a presentation or meeting, ask yourself what someone else might recognize in it.

Take a story you're planning to use in a meeting or presentation. Ask yourself: what might someone in this audience recognize from their own experience?

If the answer depends on them having lived through almost exactly what you did, look again. There may be a more universal experience inside the story.

Ginni Rometty tells the story Josh was responding to: being offered a big job early in her career and wondering whether she was ready for it. Notice how specific her circumstances are—and how easy it is to recognize an experience of your own in them.

Watch how a very personal story can become someone else's “What! You too?” moment.

In Ethiopia, the coffee ceremony called buna turns a five-minute habit into an hour-long ritual — beans roasted, ground, and brewed in front of guests over three unhurried rounds, each one a little weaker than the last. The coffee is only a means; it's an unspoken agreement that the people in the room are worth this much of everyone's time. More on the buna ceremony here »