“You are not the only supplier we are considering.” The purchasing manager was polite and direct.  I wasn’t too worried. Their engineering folks liked us, our audio quality was better and they had bought from us before.

They went with the competitor. When I debriefed with their purchasing manager, he didn't mention specs or pricing. 

He said: "The other guy sold us a story. You were trying to sell us a commodity."

I've thought about that line ever since. Why does a story work better than nearly everything else?

"Growth and comfort do not coexist," says former IBM CEO Ginni Rometty.  It applies here too. When we suggest to leaders that they tell a story, many have reservations. Some even resist—I heard them say this is “serious work” as though it has no place in a boardroom or a sales call. Others feel its an indulgence when they have so much to cover. A few, like my team and our pitch, default to what feels safe: specs, data, the logical case.

Data asks your audience to evaluate while the story makes them experience. And that purchasing manager knew exactly which one had happened in his room. Clearly the other salesperson had made him feel the problem.

"Last Tuesday, one of our longest-standing clients told her account manager she was tired of explaining the same problem every quarter." 

Compare that to the version most of us default to: 'We've seen a 23% increase in escalations from this client segment.'

It's the same fact, but what changes is whether the listener is evaluating the information or inhabiting it. Story makes the audience care first, and then the numbers do their work.

Think of a moment when you made a logical case and failed to change any minds. What was the specific consequence that no one felt — an angry client, a process breaking, an opportunity lost?

The moment, what led up to it and what happened (or not) is your story. 

Then ask: could my audience see themselves in this? If yes, you've found your story.

In the video below, Karen Eber does in twelve minutes what most communication trainers take a full day to cover: that stories create empathy and move people to act. She explains why your audience's brain responds differently to a story than to a slide — just as the purchasing manager did, without the neuroscience.

Here's why stories make you a better communicator
Storytelling is about the listener
Why a Story Outranks Your Title

The ancient Greeks had two words for time. Chronos is what your clock measures, time passing, seconds, minutes, hours ticking forward. Kairos is the threshold moment when conditions align and something can actually shift—as with a story.

Demosthenes, the Greek orator, spent years warning Athens about the threat of Philip of Macedon. The argument didn't change. What changed was the moment he chose to make it — when Athens was finally ready to feel the danger, not just hear about it.

Your audience is no different. When you name the exact detail — the client who is waiting, the process that is breaking, the moment something went wrong — you are marking the instant your audience recognises themselves in the story. That's why knowing your audience matters as much as knowing your story. You need to recognize when they're in kairos—when they're actually ready to be moved.

Read more about kairos »